Posted by darcodcar on December 19, 2000 at 05:50:45:
In Reply to: On being a (good) stepfather posted by Wolfspirit on December 13, 2000 at 01:17:39:
:Being a stepfather is a TOUGH job. I am the mother of a 15 yr old daughter, remarried and so she has a stepfather too. The first advice and most important advice is to let the natural mother do the discipile. If you don't you are setting yourself up for the children to resent you and your relationship with them will be rocky. If mom is not home at the time then step in but do it with caution. Choose your words and PICK your fights. Remember that teens have that attitude to exert their independence and it is their job to push the stepparents buttons a little more than the natural parent. Pick the important things to repremand the kids on and learn to blow other things off as hard as it may be try to keep closed lips. Sometimes just a wicked stare of the eyes will say it all. Set ground rules and limitations with their mom ahead of time and go over them with the kids to let them know where you both stand. Also important is for you to take time alone, one on one with each of the kids to build your relationhip with them. You have to put yourself again at that teenage age. Remember you were once a teen so try and think like a teen. Be supportive of some of their decisions and be their to guide them for advice. Oh yea also girls are a little more touchy than boys so try not to tease about sensitive subjects like boys,looks etc. Be involved with their extracaricular activities. Be happy and you will do just fine.....Good luck!!!!!
Okay, And hello. My fiance is a woman with three children. boy-15, girl-12, girl-12. I also have a daughter of my own , 9 yr old. The 9 yr old lives with her mother
: and I get to be with her as her girl scout leader and every other weekend.
: Things are going VERY well for my love and I. I want to know from you all what are the best steps to take to grow and develop a good relationship with the kids as
: well. The children's father hasn't seen them for three years so this Stepfathering will Will be very important. Any and all advice is needed and appriciated. I just found
: this site right now and missed the chatroom discussion....