Posted by Married to an Alcoholic on May 18, 2001 at 15:36:11:
In Reply to: Re: 19 Year Old is Scaring Me to Death! posted by D.S. on May 18, 2001 at 13:30:33:
I think you misunderstood me. I didn't mean that you allow him to break the law, nor did I even think you supplied the alcohol. By telling you to call the police I in no way meant for your son to be sent to jail, quite the opposite. The police are the only ones who can involuntarily commit someone to detox (or as you stated 'take him to a hospital to sober up'). I'm not quite sure why you thought I would want your son to go to jail. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. As you said, he would only meet less than acceptable people there. I'm glad to read your son has undergone assessments for alcohol abuse. Abuse counselors tend to bring out issues and somehow it starts the process of dealing. I know you want to believe your son would tell you problems and be 100% honest, sadly our children don't always let us into the places they don't want us to go. I don't mean this to sound in the least bit negative, I only know from personal and professional (amazingly I'm a social worker) experience that children (regardless of age) are not always completely open with parents when it comes to what they consider 'private' or 'personal'.
I'm thrilled to read he's not had a drink in 3 months. It doesn't mean he can never drink anything for the rest of his life, it only means he has to find other ways of dealing with problems. Don't ever cut the umbilical cord; children need to know their parents are there, no matter how old they are. Worrying is a mother's right. I think its even in the Constitution or something (haha).
Again, I hope everything turns out well for your son, and for you. While I've never been the parent of a child in crisis, I've been the wife. For all my professional experience and education I didn't see the signs until it was too late. I'm glad your eyes are wide open.
Post again anytime or come chat with us in #parentskitchen on starchat.