Posted by Molly37 on August 07, 2001 at 19:02:04:
Hi,
On the scale of things, this issue may seem really small, but it is having a huge effect on my daughter and I was hoping for some ideas, names of books I can read or whatever!
I have a 14 year old daughter who is actually really easy to parent (touch wood!). She is smart, funny, and all the things that makes my life as a parent quite easy. However, she has a huge 'self righteous'quality and is extremely bossy with her friends - to the point of losing friends as quickly as she makes them. This has happened for most of her life, but it is having a stronger effect on her now. I've tried talking to her about it and trying to be both strong and straight forward, and also tried being really gently. However, this issue is getting to the point where my daughter is getting severely depressed. She is seeing that she has no control over her bossiness and that she is 'only being honest' when she is being self righteous.
From this description she is sounding a little like a 'spoilt brat' - while she may have a few qualities that fit that description (like most teenagers! *grin*) she really is an easy person to be around - if your an adult. All her teachers give me really positve feedback about her. It is only with people her own age that she has these problems. Unfortunately though, friendship is her main focus, so she is seeing herself as a failure.
As I said in the introduction, this may seem like a really small issue, but it is leading to darker and darker place for my daughter.
Any thoughts??
Thanks
Molly