Posted by LSWink on July 31, 2001 at 14:50:07:
In Reply to: Re: 19 Year Old is Scaring Me to Death! posted by Married to an Alcoholic on May 17, 2001 at 16:36:15:
A recent report from the National Institutes of Health estimated that one in four young people - some 28 million - live in a family where alcoholism is present. And when it comes to alcohol and other drugs, we know that young
people whose parents use are as much as six times more likely to use than kids whose parents don't.
To be sure, families facing chemical dependency need to take responsibility
through counseling, 12-step recovery, or treatment. But when we focus
entirely on these families, we deny a more important reality: we all share a
responsibility in our kids' high-risk behaviors.
How so? For starters, we have created a culture with almost no tolerance for
awkward feelings. We sense discomfort, and we immediately seek relief through
some kind of pill. We handsomely reward advertising that says, "Want to feel
better? Buy this today!" Both behaviors teach kids to reach for external
solutions to internal problems.
There are positive ways to address the challenges presented by current trends in our culture.
If we're in a family where there is chemical dependency, we can overcome the
pressure to be secretive, giving in to the desire to protect our image and
look "normal" to the outside world. We're then free to get help and to start
the real healing process.
But if we really want to address the problem of high-risk youth behavior, we
will also have to change the underlying attitudes and beliefs that drive them
- attitudes they pick up from adults. We can learn better ways to cope with
uncomfortable feelings. We can address our greed and our obsession with
image. And we can question whether getting ahead at all costs really is the
most important value of human life.
We know that our kids are engaging in too many high-risk behaviors. In that,
they're telling us that things aren't working. It's time to admit our
responsibility and take action. In doing so, we'll create real hope. And that
is the real answer to the problem.